This was never meant to become a recurring theme, but purely in the name of research I thought I'd compare last week's muzak in Asda with that being pumped out by Morrison's, one of its big, if albeit ailing rivals.
The store in question is a few miles north of Blackpool, in a town, known by some as Costa Geriatrica, replete with squadrons of mobility scooters - is there a collective noun for these Welfare Wagons or Benidorm Buggies? - and home to at least fourteen charity shops. It was even once pointed out by your correspondent to a tourist that the disabled toilet wasn't working, hence the name...
Anyway, I digress. Describing, or attempting to define the essence of Cleveleys does in no way reflect the music played in the background to soothe the furrowed brows of shoppers wending their way around a bleak supermarket, one that has been poor for a while before going downhill from there. The predominant demographic is obviously not considered by Morrison's when putting together what I will admit is an intriguing smorgasbord of tracks, some of which had be whistling along to in approval. It seemed only apt that first one was:
Sister Sledge - Lost in Music
Alison Moyet - Love Resurrection
Rufus & Chaka Khan - Ain't Nobody
Earth, Wind & Fire - Land of Fantasy
Yes - Owner of a Lonely Heart
Ariana Grande - One Last Time
Chairmen of the Board - Give Me Just a Little More Time
Clout - Substitute
Robbie Williams - Supreme
Simply Red - Sunrise (Hall and Oates sample)
Dusty Springfield - Son of a Preacher Man
We are Down - Lights Off (Czech(ia) entry in the 2022 Eurovision)
I am sure you'll agree that this selection of music, either decided by an esoteric music aficionado or a frighteningly self-aware AI algorithm, is nothing if not unpredictable. I am not sure if a curated playlist can influence where one does 'the big shop' but it certainly makes the borderline intolerable into something less unpleasant. Heck, I may now even be spending longer in supermarkets that I used to, which might be their evil plan all along...
Whilst comparisons are odious, none of these tracks reached the heights of Bryan Ferry's effortless crooning during last week's trip to Asda, but I give Morrison's a solid eight out of ten for imagination. There is obviously a Marvin Gaye fan who puts together the music for Home Bargains, but I rarely spend more than ten minutes slaloming through the multitudes in the Liverpool-based value-for-money emporium. No, it has to be somewhere that necessitates a longer stay to gain a better appreciation of a store's musical output. And there was me complaining about continuous music on shortwave !!
For me to prolong this blog (perhaps I'm actually prolonging the agony) it will have to venture into new, if albeit tenuous areas. Although this post is categorically unrelated to UK-based free radio from the 1990s, to quote Sister Sledge - music is my salvation.
Therefore, whilst it would be most agreeable (borrowed from John Major) if the Xenon Transmitting Company or even Radio Badger (other stations are though also available) took it upon themselves to air the following play list, they are of course expected to stay true to their own individual, and respective musical tastes.
Having long since becomes first disillusioned with then appalled by so-called legit FM radio, it is to curated or algorithm-based play lists I have turned to for satisfaction. There are, after all, some advantages to modern technology, although nowadays one's life never feels to be your own. Nevertheless, as I reluctantly trundled through Asda this morning, I could not fail but to be impressed by the catholic taste of those tasked with providing suitable background entertainment for reluctant shoppers in a well-known Lancashire resort.
I will let you be the judge of the quality and variety, and whilst radio programming and musical tastes are always subjective - not everyone after all is averse to continuous music or Dutch stations whose names change with the wind - there was I thought a certain flair at play from I hope the human who chose Asda's aural entertainment:
Joyce Sims - Come Into My Life
John Newman - Come and Get It
Soul II Soul - Back to Life
Rag 'n' Bone Man - Put a Little Hurt on Me
Kygo & Whitney Houston - Higher Love
Yazmin Lacey - Not Today Mate
Family Stand - Ghetto Heaven
Jonas Brothers - Only Human
and finally. and what a track:
Roxy Music - Same Old Scene
Next time you are doing the weekly shop in one of the UK's major supermarket chains, turn your attention away from shoppers wearing dressing gowns, White Fox and Represent hoodies, Crocs, and the obese in leopard print leggings, and listen to what is being played. You might just be pleasantly surprised.
