This was never meant to become a recurring theme, but purely in the name of research I thought I'd compare last week's muzak in Asda with that being pumped out by Morrison's, one of its big, if albeit ailing rivals.
The store in question is a few miles north of Blackpool, in a town, known by some as Costa Geriatrica, replete with squadrons of mobility scooters - is there a collective noun for these Welfare Wagons or Benidorm Buggies? - and home to at least fourteen charity shops. It was even once pointed out by your correspondent to a tourist that the disabled toilet wasn't working, hence the name...
Anyway, I digress. Describing, or attempting to define the essence of Cleveleys does in no way reflect the music played in the background to soothe the furrowed brows of shoppers wending their way around a bleak supermarket, one that has been poor for a while before going downhill from there. The predominant demographic is obviously not considered by Morrison's when putting together what I will admit is an intriguing smorgasbord of tracks, some of which had be whistling along to in approval. It seemed only apt that first one was:
Sister Sledge - Lost in Music
Alison Moyet - Love Resurrection
Rufus & Chaka Khan - Ain't Nobody
Earth, Wind & Fire - Land of Fantasy
Yes - Owner of a Lonely Heart
Ariana Grande - One Last Time
Chairmen of the Board - Give Me Just a Little More Time
Clout - Substitute
Robbie Williams - Supreme
Simply Red - Sunrise (Hall and Oates sample)
Dusty Springfield - Son of a Preacher Man
We are Down - Lights Off (Czech(ia) entry in the 2022 Eurovision)
I am sure you'll agree that this selection of music, either decided by an esoteric music aficionado or a frighteningly self-aware AI algorithm, is nothing if not unpredictable. I am not sure if a curated playlist can influence where one does 'the big shop' but it certainly makes the borderline intolerable into something less unpleasant. Heck, I may now even be spending longer in supermarkets that I used to, which might be their evil plan all along...
Whilst comparisons are odious, none of these tracks reached the heights of Bryan Ferry's effortless crooning during last week's trip to Asda, but I give Morrison's a solid eight out of ten for imagination. There is obviously a Marvin Gaye fan who puts together the music for Home Bargains, but I rarely spend more than ten minutes slaloming through the multitudes in the Liverpool-based value-for-money emporium. No, it has to be somewhere that necessitates a longer stay to gain a better appreciation of a store's musical output. And there was me complaining about continuous music on shortwave !!
No comments:
Post a Comment